I am dumbing myself down even as I write this post. Right now. It's not easy, and my brain probably hates me for it but in the past few years of my life, dumbing myself down consciously has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
I used to be more genuine in school. I would speak impeccable English, vocalise my ideas and thoughts using what lay people would call 'technical jargon' (even though it was just a higher form of English. That's it) and I would basically be a typical little smart kid who Obviously had a 150+ IQ.
It didn't make me a hit. Sure, I was popular. People would come to me for help all the time. I was great and yes, a couple of people even loved me. But I was putting off a whole load of other people.
Enter: Dumbing Down to get to their level.
I (think I) lost a lot of brain power by doing this. Earlier I could (because I was habituated to it) whip up statistics and quotes and even stock market prices straight off memory. I knew every flag and every country and every capital, along with the country's stock exchanges and their best tennis players. I knew way more than the average person and my brain was much faster too. But compared to the amount of peers and even unknown people I was alienating, the brain power was not that useful after all.
If your 'showing off' is causing others to distance themselves from you, what is the point of showing off? Showing off only makes sense when there is someone to show off to. Notice I put 'Showing off' in quotes? It's because more often than not, the ones who are 'showing off' don't even want to, or realise they are doing it. It's a term that the average other people think when they encounter someone like that. They're not necessarily trying to be better or dramatic, they just might be that way to begin with.
By curbing your innate desire to be yourself and throw your intelligence in people's faces (believe it or not but that is how they look at you.) everyone automatically becomes more receptive towards you.
At age 5 when you could count in five languages, people called it cute. You definitely got used to that, thinking the smarter you were, the more people would like you (or something along those lines) That feeling when you felt you were being validated. By the time you came to your teens you were just so used to it you never even imagined it could be a self harming device, this device being smarter than anyone else in the room. You went through with it even in your teens, never realising what you were doing to yourself. And by the time you did realise- you had already made some terrible mistake.
Or maybe not. All I am saying is that is what happens to most people. I have very intelligent friends from other schools who went through the same thing. I See other people in college blundering similarly (although I realize it is indeed rare for most people to realise it is sort of their fault for doing this. Not others' faults for being so stupid) In fact, there is one very good looking, sweet, kind and very smart boy in my college (a friends classmate) who is absolutely oblivious to the fact that almost half the college hates him (without even really knowing him) All because he tries his hardest (or maybe not, it could be natural as is the case with most of us) to show off in class and outside of it as much as he can. Even after getting a GPA of 9.3 he cribbed saying he was definitely smarter than a Silly, Little 9.3.
Ouch.
Way to make everyone hate you.
Kids who had got higher than a 9.3 also didn't hide their animosity towards him. He disrupted each class with asking the teachers questions and trying to be the know it all. He started the year with a group of friends and ended it all alone. (I know all this because my friend is guilty of the collective class blood lust for this guy)
So the next time you find yourself in a situation like this: where you are dying to say or do something that automatically puts you above everyone else
, just take a moment to re think that. Is it absolutely necessary? No? Then don't do it.
At the beginning you may feel stupid or something less than you originally were. You may feel unreal and hey, you may even hate everyone else. Also, yes, your IQ just may drop. But it is a trade off you should be willing to make. Everyone will be more thankful for it. You may make friends where you previously thought there were none. You may discover something new. Even find the love of your life! (I kid you not. I have seen it happen when a math genius stopped getting math-y and the girl who liked him, then didn't, then started liking him again, finally told him she did). No, really.
Do not think of dumbing down as a negative. Dont think you are losing yourself at the cost of winning a supposed Ms Congeniality. Because you aren't.
Think of it as winning in the people-sphere. Where you will get more success in your relationships with both: people you know and those you don't. In fact, you will end up knowing many more people than before. Which Means you will have even more people to talk to. (You also might find a couple of new friends who you can Be Yourself with, figuratively. You still shouldn't behave in a way others might consider 'show off'ish.)
Remember: people are dumb. They just are. But by making them dislike you, you're proving to be dumber than them. You should be able to, if not be a people-pleaser, at least not be a villain- hated equally by all.
Learn to make people like you, it is more important than you think it is. And, god knows, you may have hated this post now, but you just may thank me for it later :)
Feel free to comment below, whether or not you have any problems or questions and I'll try helping you out :)
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